Why teenagers suck!

My first born biological child is 15 and a girl. She is known that by society but in my life she’s known as an evil spawn who has kidnapped my daughter and won’t release her for ransom until she’s a grown woman. The day that my daughter turned 13 she made her first D in school and was suspended off of the bus all at once. I was so upset with her, but hey things happen in life. We will survive. It was only a month after this that she exceeded my monthly cell phone bill on her line communicating with a boy. Great. Here we go with this shit. We calmly had a great conversation with her that went over well, been the punishment from her phone, and I was relieved to know that she got it! Boys want one thing, and it isn’t to swap recipes.

Time goes on and things return to normal. Until high school. Here we go again. Around and around on the mulberry bush! She didn’t do crap in school and acted as if the world owed her an ass kissing. Sorry my sweet girl. You have it all backwards. The world is going to chew you up and spit you out if you not only don’t fix that attitude, but continue to be lazy with your class work. Life doesn’t care about the boy that doesn’t see you or the girl that likes your lipgloss. We adults know it all. Yes I said it, because we do. We’ve tried it, done it, and lived it or saw it. Listen or suffer greatly!

You’ve been warned…….

Did she listen? Of course not. That would make too much sense and be too good for her! She didn’t listen but she has harassed the hell out of me! And what a victim! “Oh I can’t clean up I’m sleepy. Oh I shouldn’t have to wake up before 3-4 pm on weekends Oh I can’t believe my pants don’t fit. Oh these are the shoes I must have for this shirt or I can’t wear the shirt at all. OMG you’re so mean to me”. Blah blah blah. Do you know what I want to say? “When I drop you off at school today I will not return until you have finished college and it’s time for graduation and you have a job and your own place. THEN we can talk again. Until then whomever you are that stole my child from her body and ate her brain when she has returned. Please send me a text. “Until then….. CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE!

When to let go….

So I have a pair of jeans that are my favorite and I truly have broken them in to fit me like pajama pants… or something similar. My husband has recently filed a complaint that he doesn’t like my jeans and I need to replace them. I strongly disagree. Those worn areas that he’s referring to is acutally sandblasted and he needs glasses. The ragged jean that he’s referring to is simply gently loved areas that I have loved to love and that make me feel….. happy…… He even took me to Macy’s to replace these loved jeans. The nerve. I refuse to let my baby’s go and I know that you too can relate to me as well with some type of favorite item that you have loved, worn, and broken in to fit you perfectly…..

Party like a rock star…. Or something like that.

This onesie was designed for my daughter. She’s 9 months old and hasn’t slept one whole complete solid night YET. I don’t know what’s blacker that the circle under my eyes…. maybe midnight. *sigh*

I’ve tried it all…. Cereal in the bottle, food right before laying down, warm bath, Johnson & Johnson bedtime crap, swaddling, sleeping on my chest and hubby, laying down first in my bed, hell we even did no nap all day and STILL… She wakes up for the club every night between 1 & 2 am.

Somebody help me…..

I would give my right arm, 6 inches of my hair, half of my kidney, and potentially a small portion of my heart just to sleep ONE night uninterrupted. Just one!

My husband used to laugh at me (since I’m the one in control of the feedings, I’m nursing) until I, accidentally of course, found ways to wake him up so he could be in this struggle with me! All of a sudden it’s not that funny anymore. Hmmmmm……

Being a mother for the third time I thought that I had it under control and ignored everyone’s advice of resting while pregnant. I learned something: you’re never too old to listen. Oh don’t forget the good old classic “a hard tail makes a soft butt”. Granny was right!

I am too tired to remember that the glasses that I’m looking for are on top of my head, the keys I lost are I’m my back pocket, the coffee I made is cold for the third time because I warm it but forget to drink it, and the uniforms that I washed for work are still wet and I have to be at work in 4 hours…. I am officially sleep deprived.

I recently went to bed at 10:00 pm and woke up for a restroom break and some aqua around 1:30 thinking that it was 5:00 and I had to dress for work, I discovered the time and ran cheerfully back to my bed sliding in it and stretching out in the shape of an X, not even touching my husband, drifted back into sleep heaven bliss. YES! This is the life! She’s still asleep! Waaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!
OH MY WORD!!!! This kid is awake! I peek at my phone it’s 2:30! *sigh* Eff it….. I give up. I will sleep when she starts school.

For all you fellow clubbing babies and parents out there see you around 1:30! A.M. that is!

What’s a story without a hero?

There has never been a great story written without a hero. Whether they reached the damsel in distress or they pulled a kitty from a burning building. There was always a hero that melts your heart, for some reason or another.

Well my hero is my son. He’s 7 years old, is as sweet as honey, but has the heart of a lion. Baffling I know but by the end he may be yours too.

I’ve never openly discussed this before, not because I’m ashamed or scared but because I just never felt the need I converse about God’s plan for my son. So here goes……

My son was diagnosed at age 1 with a rare bone disease that causes the growth of bony tumors to grow in places that they don’t necessarily belong. While your bones are growing his cells don’t go on the inside as they should they flow outside and that’s what causes these growths. It is called multiple hereditary extosis aka MHE. Note the word hereditary, he is the only one in my family with this, he’s a spontaneous case, but his children and his children’s children will have it or shall I say could have this disease.

When I first discovered this he was 1 years old and seemed to have a crooked leg or bowed leg but the other one is straight so I took him to his pediatrician. They did an x-Ray and told me that he had osteochondromas (bony tumors, growths) and they handed me a printout from google. Thanks for that overflow of information, lord knows I don’t know how to use google. Smh. So we got an appointment with an orthopedic doctor that wasn’t helpful at all, in fact she didn’t even make eye contact when she said

oh it’s normal for some people, bring him back when he’s 11 for a hip to toe scan

. Well since then my son has had 3 surgeries and it’s only been a 5 year treatment period. What if I hadn’t gotten a second opinion? What if I hadn’t used my gut instinct and searched for answers and treatment? What if I had just given up? I don’t even want to place my mind in that space, but I know that things would’ve been much worse for him than what they are. Never let anyone leave you clueless when concerns the life of your child, especially when you know something is off. We are their advocates and protection. Fight for them. I will. I have. I am. Until the end.

Through all of this my son has always kept his feelings quiet. He doesn’t complain. He doesn’t appear mad. He isn’t sad. He’s a otherwise healthy and happy little boy who is loving, kind, generous, and intelligent. There’s one that I left out that he expresses with a depth that I have never witnessed before: selfless.

He shares his toys and anything else that he has with you. He apologizes when he’s wrong and will even cry if he thinks that he’s hurt your feelings, but there’s one thing that he has told me that he wishes for;

no one else to have what I have because I don’t want them to go through this, especially my little sister, I don’t want her to have 1 surgery, let alone more, like me

I fought back tears and sat in silence while I tried to wrap my brain around the concept that my 7 year old son cares more about others than hisself and is willing to withstand the pain and surgeries as long as his sister doesn’t have to. My Lord where did you create this soul that I have been blessed with to raise and call my own? What a graceful person to be around. What a peaceful soul to be loved by. I can’t imagine my life without him. When I’m feeling inadequate as a mother without a word he hugs me and kisses me on the cheek and says

it will be okay mommy

. How did he know? I have no clue. I look at those big brown eyes and I feel the power of kindness, love, and giving.

I wake up everyday and wonder what will he encounter today, where will his next new growth be? Will he walk differently? Will he be able to use both of him arms and hands? Will he be okay as he goes to school and is around

normal

kids? Does he feel normal? Is he ever sad? Does he have low self esteem? These are issues that I worry about on a daily basis. Being bullied is the tip of the iceberg for me in concern. I have to make sure that this little boy that will one day be a grown man is of sound mind, body, and spirit so
that he can’t be broken. By no one. No teachers, kids, adults, family, friends, or girls. This is what matters.

When he was 2 1/2 I was giving him a bath and he asked me

why his older sister isn’t like him

and I ask him

what do you mean, like you

and he said

you know like me, not normal, with extra bones and pain

With glassy eyes and a large lump in my throat I managed a raspy

God made you unlike anyone else because you’re special and you are far from normal, you’re perfect and don’t ever question that. I love you.

He gave me a big hug and a kiss and ran out to go play with his toys. I sat in the bathroom and weeped quietly in the acceptance of how strong he truly was and the day he became my hero.

He will always be my one and only hero.

The 5 Worst Things You Can Say To A Blogger

Love!

A Morning Grouch

So, I’m no blogging genius.  When I first started blogging I had zero idea of the etiquette, cultish followings, or blogging cliques that existed.  I pretty much started this as a procrastination tool.  I’m still half-assed and hardly an expert; I have been dragging my feet even getting my self-hosted site up and running (does that even make sense?) because I have almost zero clue where to start (but dammit, I will learn, eventually.  I will).  But even with all that, I am starting to get some idea of what the blogging world is all about.

There are some phrases non-bloggers may or may not realize are not a good idea to say to someone who blogs:

1.  I read your blog. With no follow-up.  Oh. Thank you? You read it. But you didn’t say what it was exactly that you read. Or if you liked it. Or hated it. Or if it…

View original post 402 more words

Segregated Mothers

I was invited to a birthday party at a karate club, as my son was, I was totally excited. I’ve never been to one and I want my son in karate so what a great way to introduce it to him!!!

As we walked towards the glass windows and door that covered this place of business I noticed that the mothers were segregated, by color. Hmmm very odd. So I wondered why it was this way? Was it because one Mom saw another Mom who knew another Mom so they just sat there together by default or did people separate themselves on purpose? Either way around I didn’t like it. It bothered me.

The most disappointing part of this separation was as the party went on I then knew for some it was absolutely intentional and it disgusted me. Why do these lessons have to repeatedly keep presenting their self to my son when I work so hard to teach the opposite? Why am I forced to make things be known to a 6 year kid that doesn’t need to be known to him? Why must my hand be forced into a cookie jar of stupidity of explanations for the idiots of the world? *sigh* I’m tired of this. Maybe he won’t notice…..

As the party goes on the kids have individual tasks to complete, they get recognized for their physical abilities but they’re just having fun, and I’m enjoying watching them, but I notice they’re not all getting hand claps alike. Another discerning moment for me as a mother. Why Lord why? I just don’t understand!!!!! Children are so innocent! They’re corrupted by us, the media, school, and other influences, but why must we obviously not support them in anything that they do as well?!!! Grrrr I wanted to do my own round house on someone’s head.

The moral of this story is that no matter what color your skin is just know that we all want the same thing for our kids. The best education, success, equality, fairness, love, and happiness. Color knows none of these and doesn’t care. It doesn’t make anything better or worse just difficult and wrong for all of our kids.

My son was so happy with the wooden board that he broke with his foot and the yummy cake that all he cared about was joining this class and returning to destroy more wooden boards and with that I’m pleased.

Until next time…….

Parents Rule!!!!!!!

My husband and I always play board or card games with the kids. We used to play weekly Monopoly until the kids figured out that Dad was making deals with them to buy properties for him so that he could own the entire board. He would pay them back but after owning everything with multiple hotels, no one wants to play anymore, it’s just not that fun anymore.

So we moved on to other games and ended up all agreeing on UNO. The kids were ecstatic because everyone understands and it requires little assistance for all of the various ages.

While playing a couple of months ago we, my husband and I, noticed that we never got any “good” cards. No skips, draw twos, nothing. The two youngest ones, always had everything and beat us over and over again. I’m not sure what’s going on here but it’s fishy and I WILL find out. So we both stage an exit of going to the bathroom and getting something to drink while the 10 year old dealt and the 6 year old sat with anticipation and waited for his cards. We both peeked around the corner and watched as she sorted through the deck and split all of the good cards between them both, leaving us with nothing. This in turn made both of us very mad! #1 cheaters never win, they only fail #2 why lack effort and just assume the cheating is necessary? #3 why are you teaching the younger one this foolishness and where did you get it from? #4 GAME ON! You will be broken from this! The 10 year old obliged after a serious talking to and never cheated again within this monthly visit of us playing UNO, but the 6 year old loved the fact that he made us “pick up” (draw cards from the deck) and continued to cheat. Okay, we gave each other the eye, we will stop this.

So here he comes around the corner with his UNO cards, skipping and cheerful as can be. My husband winked at me and I winked back, game time! You can NEVER outsmart your parents, this is an epic fail! I shuffle the deck and my husband sends him to the kitchen to grab him a snack. I slide all of the “good” cards out and split them between us two. My son was just a little curious as to why his cards fell the wrong way and he missed all of the “good” cards. Second hand, my husband is shuffling the cards so I send him in the kitchen to grab me a snack, he returns to the unknown fact that yet another smack down was upon him! Now we could see the tension building as he frowned and sat puzzled wondering why he didn’t get any again this hand. We shrugged and began a third hand. This time I sent him to brush his teeth giving us time to draw up a master plan. We made sure the order would go where his turn would be in-between us so that he would have serious damage to pick up (we play doubles you can put down a draw 2 I can add to it making you have to draw 4,6,8 whatever the number is) and then the lesson would be clear. He returned from brushing his teeth and we started the game. His first bout was to pick up 2. Second was 4. Third was 6. His final smack down was to pick up 16 cards!! Uh oh I see small watery eyes, a little nose flaring up, wrinkles in the forehead! Meltdown in 5…..4……3…… BOOM! Full blown! He tried his best to negotiate picking up only 2 cards. Not today baby! We sat and watched him pick up all 16 cards and cry. After he picked them all up we say our cards down and my husband said “you loss, we cheated, we won.” He cried even harder asking why would do something so mean to a little kid? We then asking him about his feelings and went on to explain to him why you don’t cheat and being an honest person is what makes you a winner, not cheating….. Only losers cheat! You want to win, you work for it!

He went to bed still sad, but the next time that we played UNO he didn’t cheat. I’m happy with that for now.

Parents 1 Kids 0

Post baby survival guide & tips

Ah where do I begin? I know…. the last 2 weeks of pregnancy…. Sit down somewhere and sleep! Okay who am I kidding? Lay down and rest. Relax your mind and body because in 2 weeks everything will change….

Post baby delivering

We all have an idea of how we are going to handle labor and what requests that we already have in place. Yeah… go ahead and cancel those plans, all of them except for maybe the comfy pillow and warm blanket that’s your favorite and allows you to sleep anywhere with the drop of a hat because those my friend are the only guarantees in childbirth. My most recent birth was my 3rd and I really thought that I had it all together, this whole process and labor included, I don’t even know what I was thinking about but it was about as accurate as the weather forecast. I wanted to have a natural childbirth as I had with my previous two but unfortunately the pain took over my soul and I gave in to an epidural… who cares that I was already 10 cm? That was a gift from heaven!! If I have ever decide to do this again that is my first order of business and epidural! I was never a drug seeker before but I confess that I am now! HA!  Who else can push out a 9lb 4.7oz baby and not feel a thing? Not my natural born body!

Breasts and all

I decided to breastfeed my last born. It was the best and most natural decision that I’ve ever made in my life and if I had to do it again I would over and over again. It’s amazing to see your baby growing all because of what you’re giving him/her. Now for the reality of breastfeeding there’s a couple of things that you should mentally be prepared for: pain and leakage and yes they are both completely normal. Don’t be alarmed by either and no need to waste that copay on a doctors visit, pull your big girl cry baby panties up, grin, and bear it. It will get better. I promise. I went to sleep and woke up with breasts that looked like they had implants placed in them while I as asleep! They were fabulous! I would’ve jumped up and down and did my happy dance, but I was in pain as well. I would have tears slowly streaming down my cheeks as I nursed for the first 2-3 weeks questioning her latching on and my ability to follow through with this but we made it (thanks to my team) and we are still successfully nursing today. I repeat: it hurts and its normal. Your baby will thank you for it! I thanked her for it when I went for my 6 weeks postpartum and had lost 45 lbs by doing NOTHING but nursing. It’s rewarding in several ways! Enjoy!

Formally known as sleep

It doesn’t exist anymore. Remove this word from your brain and replace it with NONE because that’s what it is for the next few months. Just make sure your baby is safe because you could doze off while feeding, changing, or even playing with him/her. I can honestly say that I have successfully mastered sleep feedings and no one has choked or been dropped or slept on top of! I’m doing it pretty well.

Me Time

This will happen when toileting and showering occurs in the beginning, if you have someone around to watch the baby. My showers have gone from 20 mins to 45 mins. My husband hasn’t caught on nor complained about the increasing water bill so “me time” it is! Honestly I’m happy to get this time and I embrace it with stress relief aid, body scrubs, lotions, candles, anything that relaxes me for 5 minutes I take and release the day. As the baby gets older it gets easier, go for a walk it’s very relaxing, read a book, watch your favorite show or find a new one, anything to do something for you. We got lost in being Mom and we forget about us.

The forgotten loads

Be prepared to wash and re-wash the same loads. Shit happens and it’s okay. Nobody ever died from twice washed or rinsed clothes. Nobody died from wrinkles either, lets just get them clean….. Baby steps….. Baby steps

How to clean

There is not enough time in the day everyday for you to be able to clean like you used to. Guess what? It is OKAY. My husband quickly learned that it wasn’t one of my priorities when I had a crying baby or when I was just plain tired…..Boy did he see when I returned back to work part-time. Two consecutive 12 hour shifts! When I came home after my first shift back he handed me the baby and said “you’re an amazing woman”, kissed my forehead, and went for a cup of joe. I couldn’t help but smile and thank God that he saw what it takes to take care of a newborn. So if he wants it clean now he cleans it himself.

Eat and go

I can’t remember the last time that I ate a meal where I wasn’t either still cooking or it was damn near 10 o’clock at night or there wasn’t a baby hanging from my boob. But it’s okay. I ate.

You got this

You are not alone. You don’t have to go through this alone. You’re strong. You’re smart. There is another woman and even man in America and probably somewhere in your area that’s going through the same thing you are. Utilize Facebook and other social networking tools and regular human contact to talk to someone else and see how much you two or more are alike. It may make you feel better and less homicidal towards your significant other. Sometimes it just feels better to be able to confirm that you’re not alone.

Being a mother isn’t easy even if it’s your 4th time around it’s a hard process to go through. We all struggle. We are all human. No worries. You can do it.

 

Sleeping on the job!!!

My sweet Granny is 84… Has Alzheimer’s… And recently injured her back so my family and I have been rotating “keeping” her.

Today was my turn after working a 7p-3a shift at the hospital and I agreed that I could do it because I slept today until 10 am (thanks hubby) so I felt pretty good about being attentive to her needs. Yup I got this… Operation watch Granny under way…..

Well that should’ve just been a thought, not an action, after thought, or the horrible idea that it was, but just a mere thought. *sigh*

My son, the baby and I arrive at Granny’s house, everything is fine and we are all doing what we normally do watch television and converse. My son (who’s 6) walks down to my Mom’s house, who lives very close, to get me Granny’s 5 o’clock meds. Right before he leaves the baby FINALLY takes her nap. I’m sitting on the couch with Granny and the next thing I know…. Woosh! My sons whisks through the door and yells “Where’s Granny Mommy?” I open my eyes and jump up like someone just shot me in the toe!!! Oh shit where is Granny? Granny got her walker and proceeded to go into the kitchen to get the scissors to clean her fingernails and she’s standing there like she’s done no wrong, peeking around the corner of the refrigerator, smiling… and sneaking.

After I found my heart and got my thoughts together to realize that she’s okay I sit back down on the couch and ponder over whether or not I peed my pants or not and how tired I really am!

Granny 2 Naila 0

House guests of terror

We all have that one or two friends that have pretty annoying kids that are spoiled it just lack discipline. If you say that you don’t you need to re-evaluate that comment and take another peek at your friends. I have friends that have kids that I don’t want around my kids and it’s of all ages and genders too. Now I’m not trying to be as mean as I sound but let’s be honest. Who wants a bad kid in your house tearing your house up? They will because they don’t have any self control and they’re not made to have any either. They lack respect for other people and their items because it is not demanded from them as most parents do. Please don’t think that I’m saying that my children are perfect because they aren’t by far, but I don’t have too many discipline problems from them, especially not in public! I’m not sure if I can attribute that to stellar discipline or just flat out fear. Your children should have some level of fear for you otherwise they won’t have that little voice on their shoulder that helps guide them making decisions and even then now that I think about it sometimes that doesn’t last either…. Hmmm anywho there should always be an effort to raise your kids to be the best people that they can be. Have you ever been around a child that was so bad you cringed with their every movement and thought just wondering what they were going to do next? You were so happy when they left because you wanted to put them over your knee or push them in a ditch? Yes those kids. I will never understand why or how people tolerate this type of behavior from their children and how they don’t see they’re hindering them because in the real world nobody is going to deal with that nonsense.

See I was smart. My son was so bad when he was between 1 & 2 years old that I would just stay at home! Yup that’s right. I thought why embarrass myself and my family so I will avoid it since I can’t fix it. That was soooo wrong of me!!!! I made it 10 times worst. If it wasn’t for my husband’s intervention I would probably be one of those mothers that you see on tv saying their kid beat them up and their terrified of them. Nah just kidding. I could never deal with that remember that fear I mentioned earlier? It exists in my house and it commands my son. We have fun in my house but you will be the best child that you can be….